Adventures in Massage

I’ve been whinging on about needing a massage, so this past sunday I started looking for local places. I happened upon a place maybe ten minutes from the house. Turns out its in an industrial park. I go inside, and the place looks fairly innocuous, but doesn’t exactly look like a ‘salon’ either. I’m directed into a room with an industrial sized massage table. There are two bars that run along the ceiling that I don’t notice until the massage is over. At the head of the massage table hang two signs. One of them has two statements that leap out at me.

The first is ‘disposal of condoms is not permitted on the premises’.

The second? ‘Please do not ask for sexual favors’.

This leads me to believe that this is not an entirely above board establishment, but hey – I’m already here and I’m adventure girl, so why not?

The lady that gave me the massage used lots of hot towels and compresses that she would switch on and off during the massage, but I was freezing most of the time which didn’t help for relaxation. While she was very nice and admired my tattoos, the massage wasn’t that helpful, which I suppose should not have been surprising. :/

I’m totally going back to the guy I’m familiar with, now that I know he’s back in town.

Too darned long

I’ve been neglectful. I’ve been consumed by the ease of blip updates on Facebook, but am going to work on being more diligent about actually putting content on this page now.

This being said, I’m about 22,000 words from finishing the next book in The Vengeance Cycle.

I’ve also started podcasting some of my erotic short stories – you can listen to them here: http://ninjacooter.libsyn.com/

I should be recording another new story within the next week or so, and will post here when it’s ready for listening.

May these things all come to pass. May we all MAKE them come to pass by envisioning them and putting our energies into this.

Reflection and Celebration

I am 41, going on 12 – essentially. Tomorrow, I become the number for Life, the Universe and Everything for an entire year. Gon’ work me somma dat mojo to get the most out of the number as I can wring out of it.

As it is, I’m pretty much celebrating turning 42. My fourties have been both productive and interesting so far. I put out my first book. (FINALLY!) I started to embark on a documentary, even got a bunch of stuff filmed, but am putting the project on hold to do other things. The topic was something that I ended up getting a little too scattered about in my own mind and I’m re-evaluating a whole bunch of ‘life stuff’, which is pretty much what I guess you’re supposed to do when you start kickin’ around the fourties.

In a way, I’m both discovering and rediscovering who I am – figuring out that large parts of me are who I’ve been all along; parts that I tried to leave along the wayside but ended up needing. I left them behind with the honest intention of finding out if I was really that person. Come to find out – yep. I am. So I’m going with it – and am MUCH happer because of it. Screw the squares that are uncomfortable with it.

Ah, reintegration. It can be a joyful path of self-discovery, or it can be a harsh mistress that slaps the hell out of you when you ask for nothing more than a glass of water.

It’s all part of the ride, part of the journey.

This has been a rough, bitch of a year for a lot of people. I’ve lost my mother/best friend and two friends already, and I know there are many out there who have had a similar go of it. It is my fondest wish that you all find that nugget of happy, of inner peace inside you – and that you run with it ’til the wheels fall off.

I earnestly wish that my birthday announces a year of prosperity, love, happiness, productivity and complete goofiness – and I wish this same thing for you all.

Thank you for being friends, family and fans. You help make life awesome.

Much love.

A little about your host:

Years ago, back when people were geekfully patting themselves on the back at getting a FIDOnet account (I wasn’t even that aware back then.) – when the rest of the world was still ‘in the dark’ (IE: No internets/webs/cameravidphones) – I started working at conventions in the Washington, D.C. area.

I went by the nickname of Rogue back then.

It was a time of BBSes – and for me, that was the pinnacle of online communications. It was my first introduction to computer communication. Ah, 2400 baud. I remember it well. Thank god we’re past that. I started working for an organization known as FanTek, doing tech for CastleCon and EveCon. Bruce and Cheryl Evry were wonderful to me, as was most of the rest of the people affiliated with working the cons. It was another one of those moments where I found ‘my people’ – just in a different way. I met supremely awesome people that have stayed friends with me for over twenty years through FanTek, and for that I will always be profoundly grateful. Fandom was a large part of my life for many years – it still is on and off, although I stopped doing tech for cons around KatsuCon 5 or 6, I think.

I still attend cons, even though the ‘heyday’ of the almost wolfpack feeling of everybody that you really loved gathering in one hotel for a long weekend of debauchery, cosplaying/masqueradeing and dealer’s room looting seem far away. I get to see people I haven’t seen in awhile, but because of the internet they don’t seem as far away anymore. It’s a different feeling – but still nice.

I’m a geek. And a nerd. And a member of Fandom. It is as much a part of who I am as still rockin’ the punk thing and being a fairly active spiritual/shamanic type person. I work in the IT field, doing installs of T1′s, T3′s and FE circuits. Been in the industry for what seems like forever and I’m workin’ my entire career backwards. I started in a NOC, then after getting laid off went to CST for another company, then moved to Service Delivery, and now I’m in Provisioning. I figure if I go back much farther, I’ll be crawling up into a womb consisting entirely of ones and zeroes. Still – it’s worked for me so far. Someday, perhaps, I will be able to parley this collection of skills into BIG MONEY. Who knows?

Now, I can add Author to the list. It’s wierd. I don’t even really think of myself as an author because I currently only have one book out and I don’t do it full time. And, did I mention that I tend to be harder on myself than on anybody else around me?

I really do want to thank all of you who have chosen to read my book and to fan me on Facebook. Without your support, I’d have a box of books sitting in a corner somewhere, gathering dust. I’m pleased that people like the story and the characters, and although it seems like I’m goofing off a great deal more than I should (I do have two more books to attend to in the series, at least), rest assured that I’m doing what I can to kickstart the Firehose of Creativity.

Have an awesome weekend, guys.

Playing Dress-up

So, I decided to get all dudded up this Halloween – just for the pure fun of it. I didn’t have a party to go to, or any huge event. I gathered with a small group of esoteric spiritual people out in Virginia and we did a little esoteric spiritual work for the holiday. A great time was had by all.

And – the look was fabulous, if I do say so m’self.

There were people that would look at me strangely, moving out of my way or outright glaring at me (Seriously, people – it’s HALLOWEEN. Really?) – but the ones that actually got it, loved it. I received great compliments on the outfit and the makeup, and enjoyed the hubbub.

Here’s hoping that your Halloween, Fete Ghede and Día de los Muertos were all rockin’ and that you have memories for years to come.

Ah, Halloween. Back around again. You’ve been missed.

So – tomorrow’s the day. All Hallow’s Eve. The harvest festival of monsters, ghosts, goblins and whatever else man’s fevered imagination can cook up. The day that the veil is thinnest between the world of the living and the dead. A time to engage in watching scary movies, dressing up for Halloween parties and generally making merriment wearing the guise of something alien and different.

It’s also a time to remember. To honor. To elevate. To RESPECT those who are the reason that you are here, living in this time. Whether they were good or bad people, we still stand on the shoulders of our ancestors who hold us up and help us as we make our way through this life. This year, Halloween has a different flavor for me. This is the first year I’ll be celebrating it without being able to call my mother and ask her what movies the Chiller channel has running. I find myself wanting to visit a truly haunted house – something we had always dearly wanted to do when she was still alive. We talked often of going to try to visit the most haunted places that we could get to. When I was a teenger, she and I used to candle gaze, and we would sit across from each other glaring at a small piece of paper, or a penny that we desperately tried to move across the table with our minds. Trying to kickstart what we hoped would be latent telekinesis never did work out, but it was a great bonding experience. We shared our love of things that went bump in the night, creatures that shambled and dark shapes that darted quickly from room to room – just fast enough to be seen out of the corner of an eye, but never full on. Things with needle sharp little teeth that whisper in your ear while you’re sleeping, just waiting to strike if you wake up.

Many people have lost someone that they loved dearly this year. It’s a part of life – this departure from the rhythm of the rest of the world to something beyond, something different. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. I truly do believe that when we pass from this world to the next that we are able to reach back somehow, to keep an eye on those we leave behind so that we can help them if they need it. I believe that my mother sees me and smiles when I go somewhere scary and think of her being with me.

Last weekend, I scattered a pinch of her ashes into a river off a bridge that was simply gorgeous by day – and I’m sure it’s creepy as hell at night.

She’d love it.

I miss you more than I can say, Mom – and I hope that wherever you are, you’re doing something that twinges that ‘scare bone’ and cheers you up.

My friends, wherever you are – be safe, be sound, and work some of that scary chill into yer bones. It’s good for what ails ya.

Happy Halloween.

Art Appreciation: “Christina’s World,” by Andrew Wyeth

I’m sure that there are many people out there that see “Christina’s World,” by Andrew Wyeth as a beautiful remembrance of whatever it might’ve been like to …live in Kansas, or Oklahoma, or one of those windblown, grain laden states, but for me it’s always been creepy and unnerving as hell.

Let’s deconstruct, shall we? First, have attached a copy of the image itself for those of you unfamiliar with the title of the painting:

Scariest. Painting. Ever.

First off, the only human being in the painting looks as if she’s just roused from a nice, leisurely nap under the afternoon sun. Perhaps she was thinking about that nice boy Jeb down at the local Pack -n- Pump on route 4. Perhaps she was thinking about her homework objectives, and how she could best procrastinate and avoid doing the work entirely. Who knows?

The point is that she’s awake now, and she’s turning towards the house in the background in an almost eager, frightened, “Oh my god, what the hell is that noise coming from that creepy ass farm house up on the hill that my parents or a close friend might or might not live in?” kind of way.

This doesn’t look like a ‘gosh, I’m happy to be out in the middle of all this tawny colored crass, and I’m thrilled to be living in Kansas where there are NO decent gay clubs whatsoever.” kind of pose. It’s almost tentative, her hand positioned as if clutching at the ground in fear instead of simply for balance. It’s as if she’s deciding whether to head up and investigate the possible ruckus ensuing at the old farmhouse, or whether she should get the fuck outta dodge and just jump on Jed and ride him all the way to that fancy, schmancy New York city everybody’s been talking about.

As someone who is fairly freaked out by flat, wide open plains, the very fact that she’s in the middle of nowhere terrifies the hell out of me. I don’t get the reassuring feeling that there might be a tree or a handy threshing machine around, outside the scope of the frame – something that she can hop on to ride to the rescue, or hide behind. In my imagination, there is nothing but wheat and grass for MILES around – there’s nowhere to run to ground for shelter, and nothing to get behind to effectively dodge any possible incoming missiles that might be heading her way from the window of the house, or the barn.

I can almost hear the loud, wailing keen of the occupants of the house on the hill; once a safe, warm and welcoming place that has now turned into a hellish grand guignol carnival of coppery flavored charnel delights. Perhaps there’s a man going through the house, room to room, gutting/raping/cutting/shooting the various occupants – and the only thing that the girl in the pretty pink dress can do is sit there trembling while she waits for a dark figure to appear in the frame of the front door.

I can almost hear her desperate thoughts now:

“Surely he’ll be done soon – and then he’ll start looking for anybody else that might be around. Oh god. What if he sees me? The artist didn’t even give me a rock to hide behind! OMG WTF! Seriously!”

Then, just when I’m getting jittery from looking at the painting, something wet, red and slithery starts making its oily way from room to room – making little schlucking sounds as it slides along the floor. Is it a demon? One of the hellish creatures from the Cthonic mythos? A gigantic blood and fecal smeared grub with bright, shiny red eyes and razor sharp teeth? Oh god, it could be anything!

Run, Christina! RUN!!!

So, yeah. That’s pretty much why the painting creeps me the hell out.

Mr. Sucky and Mr. Licky

I’m not sure exactly when I came up with this odd idea – a ‘children’s book’ that most definitely WAS NOT a children’s book. I started writing these weird little vignettes about two best friends – Mr. Sucky (A vampire) and Mr. Licky (A werewolf). Mr. Licky is a very friendly, naive soul that happens to become a slavering, deadly beast when the moon is full. Mr. Sucky is a long-lived blackguard of a fellow who happens to be rather sweet on his furry friend. In my head, they appear as tiny, sickeningly cute little characters that roam around together and have adventures, eat ice cream, visit Opium dens and such.

Earlier this year, I decided to do a ‘dramatic reading’ of a segment of the Mr. Sucky and Mr. Licky saga for YouTube, and I’m currently shopping around for a cartoonist interested in helping me turn their stories into actual books. I’m really very fond of both characters and the ideas that pop into my head when I think about them. It’d be nice to see them in print/art someday.

Paranormal Activities – MiniReview

Went to go see this last night at 9:30. The story behind the movie is fantastic as well. For roughly $15,000, first time director Oren Peli was apparently inspired by The Blair Witch Project. He apparently upgraded his home and had it feature as the set for the entire movie. Like Blair Witch, there was also virtually no script that the actors stayed to. Last week, it grossed around $8 million. This is completely phenomenal. An unknown director, who used to be a software engineer, and two unknown actors are taking the horror circuit by storm. Not to mention the fact that the movie is fairly terrifying. I love the fact that this wasn’t your standard ‘BOO!’ scary movie fare, and that there was a fair amount of psychological tweaking going on with the things that the viewer witnesses throughout the storyline.

I didn’t realize how effective it would be to have myself forced into the perspective of thinking of really creepy stuff happening around me while I was sleeping. That primal fear of the dark that most of us seem to ‘come from the shop’ with – it’s in us for a reason. When we’re shut down and resting, we’re at our most vulnerable. I actually had trouble sleeping last night – and it’s a good bet that it’s going to mess with my head tonight as well. That’s how much this movie got to me.

I want to see it again already.